To Amsterdam and then Istanbul and then St.Lucia!
Summer 2007 promises to be something special...
Teddy Out, for now for now.
Teddy Out, for now for now.
posted by Teddy Bear at 7:43 PM
0 comments
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Tour baby...
Tour starts: Sunday 11th June
Location: Outside Union For one week, 16 guys were about to abuse their livers...
It began...on the minibus! Marky Skeet was driving, good old boy. Rarely going above 67mph we were cruising westerly toward Taunton, Somerset.
That’s where there are loads of farmers.
So onward we went with a good 10 crates of Carlsberg and Export. Not to mention a few cans of Kopparberg that Genders had with me...
First toilet stop, and Mikey and Tommy 'I’m a gay American' Genders grabbed some Strawberries.
Strawberries to start...Mikey n Danny 'Out every night' Margerum. So after the short stop it was back on the highway. Few songs few more beers, happy days.
On way to Long Sutton to play Marky's little side, which beat us.
Aside from Danny and Brian playing on the swings and Teddy squirting everyone with piss in a water pistol, Fresher Dave saw a Blue Tit.
Productive.
Cricket wise, the scorching Somerset heat was great to play in, Danny (1st team skip) and Genders ended up on the opposite team. Traitors. The match was a friendly and it was obvious there was a bit of fun in the outfield.
Silence for Fresher Tanner to start which was all in good fun. So still a bit of a journey left then, arriving at Taunton early evening. Seeing the Sri Lankan cricket team at neighbouring hotel and then the England bus shows up. Not that great.
On arrival, rooms were designated and we were informed of a free breakfast, nice. I was sharing with Marky and Stu aka. Mr Talkative. We put the world cup on whilst we waited to shit, shower and shave ready for the night ahead.
Starting in the lobby watching the great Iran vs. Portugal, we were all up for the night. Taxi's came and ended up taking all old boys to Spoons. (Hearing lapse by me). Fines and MoM & DoD were given out. IT finished with Skeeter and tanner enjoying some muffin off th floor. Started wrestling too which puzzled us... Bouncer loved it.
The night was to be spent at some club in Taunton that JP 'Alumni' and James 'Injury time' Pepper knew about. All others behaved like sheep and followed... Teddy 'Fresher' Bear was the designated Whip Treasurer, so all the boys handed over a tenner. This would become the norm.
Should have run. Met a girl behind bar who we befriended and she decided to give us 2 shots each of this horrible strawberry liquor.
On top of that were 32 pints (2 each) and 2 bottles of vodka. The night was a good introductory gesture and we played a few drinking games whilst perving over JP's missus... (Haribo!)
Highlights were Coops attempt at a high pitched "AyAkah" and Brian and Skeeter not knowing they were blowing out all our eardrums.
After more games of Jimmy 'McMack' Mack and 21 we were beginning to feel woozy, Mikey could still sort of talk sense and ended up with this random blonde.
Can you say "Blowjob in the toilets?"
The hours rolled on and it was time to pile in a randoms car. Think Genders had flex'd and attractive some female species to take us home. Don’t remember much after that...All in good fun.
Known later in the morning was that Brian 'Go on my son' Hilton, Alex 'Coop' Cooper and Danny had spent the night shaving themselves and each other and Dibble had pulled a fat bird.
ermm…Good stuff.
The Monday started with what seemed like a harmless prank, Danny and Coop throwing water all over everyone at 6.30am. Rough.
We all went down for breakfast and went nuts on the free stuff. After Teddy attempted straight arm drinking a yoghurt Danny had a nice bit of banter with all our mums.
Read the papers and assembled our stuff for the bus ride ahead.
I don’t think anyone could have managed a few cans of Carlsberg as we were all recovering; we all wanted sleep but feared getting bitchslapped. So matchsticks in eyelids then...
Only an hour and half to Newquay so not a long ride. We were glad to unload our stuff after finding Hotel Safi! Bunkhouse it was, it was damaged, dirty and cheap...ideal then!
In the first room were Freshers Pepper and Teddy, Coop and Brian. Room 106 was Dibble, Danny, Mikey and Tanner. And lastly the third room consisted of Dave, Stu, Haribo, Skeet and Barley Dave. Sleep time! To prepare for the night, we asked the receptionist where is good to go, she replied "everywhere really, it depends what you want".
A great help. So off ski’s it was to Burger King and then later to Sailors which was as hot as a volcano... Marky loved the scratch perverts. They were very good.
A Few fresher challenges, lots of bevvies and drunkard dancing later, we settled on a kebab and a 15" party as after club food. So Down to beach to eat it all!
Freshers Haribo and Teddy had a sandcastle building comp which Teddy won easily with his giant penis castle with added moat. All Haribo could muster was a shitty sand woman complete with dodgy boob job and some sort of genitalia which wasn’t female nor male.
Ambled home to the Safi later for a few hours sleep...
Newquay
First stop, breaky at a café towards Walkabout end.
Freshers. No eating with cutlery. So Posh Nosh and Bacon Butty it was then!
Then the news…
Mikey gets a call from his housemate, we had three days to pay for three mattresses which had to be replaced after a little water fight featuring Big Fat Dan and Coop. £20 each was the charge.
Oh well, we were on tour, Fuck the holiday Inn! Spoiling our morning!
The day also brought us some cricket, a game against a St. Austell village side, highlights included Brian hitting 50 runs for the consecutive game and Danny helping him along the way. Stuart “Mr. Talkative” Reeves took some key wickets too.
A win was assured when Brian came on to bowl his ‘right arm shit’ and grabbed 2 quick wickets. Barley became involved for the first time on tour with his drunken umpiring…
I don’t remember what followed, do you guys?
A busy Wednesday began with Breakfast, at a crappy café once again!
Full English’s all round even the Freshers could use knives n forks. Afterwards a few guys went to Walkabout to discuss the holiday inn fees and have a few beers, Brian (still pissed from last night) spent a while in the toilets.
We came to the agreement that each person will contribute an equal percentage as everyone else.
The day was designated a beach day and thus followed…
It was all whites for the Freshers apart from Tanner and Pepper, who were stupid and wore swimming trunks! So Teddy, Haribo and Dave were the only ones in full whites ready to play cricket.
Late in the game with the tide rapidly coming in, we had attracted some bikini clad females to play. They were shit, though some had tits and ran. It was neat!
Females decided to abandon game after finding the game boring when out in the field. So they attempted to build a mermaid which ended up looking like a sperm whale with big eyes.
More beach fun followed when playing headers and volleys. Classic.
Of course no-one kept score, we just waited until someone would score then watch them dive into the Atlantic in celebration.
All this play ended in a lot of wet cricketers, so fresher challenge was to grab a towel. Teddy went far a field and ended up with one of the summer break reps’ towel, whereas Pepper achieved a borrow off a nearby minger. Dave and Haribo eventually came back with a towel each.
Towards the end of the day, Stuart ‘I sleep all day and eat a whole 15” pizza’ Reeves came down.
After the beach it was time, time for Barracuda!
Pre-Outing drinks at the Safi bar, was good.
Keeping in with the beach theme, it was beach party night. So what better to dress up as than women in pyjamas! Love it.
We stood out like an erection at poolside.
Fresher challenge of the evening was to introduce a girl to any Old Boy, preferably Coop n Dibble and tell them your pick name, age, university attending and any other information you have come across. We met quite a few people. Freshers Teddy, Pepper advanced at this task.
Coop n Dibble paid £5 for some ‘oxygen’ that did nothing, and many drinks were dropped on the floor.
Then Lexi appeared. Enough Said.
(What goes on tour, stays…?)
Breaky at Corkers, it was rolls all around…Great 12” subs will bacon, sausages, hash browns, and a good helping of melted cheese on top. Heart attacks on way.
Chilled until the England game.
The second England game happened to be showing at Barracuda where we were last night. Trinidad and Tobago were the opponents and 2-0 the final score.
A Good host of the match, freebies included a wristband, potato wedges, out of date san Miguel and flags. Teddy stole a big foam finger, but didn’t put it to good use as he missed both goals. Shocking.
Cricket vs. Truro Cricket College Academy, we didn’t play them on the same day, I just putting it in here cos I want to. If anyone can tell me the date it would be much obliged. We got whacked around to start with, then had a good spell, then whacked around some more. After a good 40 overs of this, Truro had posted 230 on the board.
Out came Danny and Mikey who put on a good opening stand, however the Truro bowlers got through us though Marky Skeet, Teddy and Dibble hit a few last gasp boundaries. Only a loss of 50 runs.
Freshers vs. Old Boys footy
The conditions, a bit breezy and sandy.
The tide out, the pitch drawn (incredibly well by all Freshers)
It was time for a heated game of football.
The teams were predictable, though the old boys having one more player fielded a sub for most part for the game. Goals were a plenty, with 19 being scored.
The Freshers took the favourable conditions by the scruff of the neck and scored early, Tanner knocking in a half volley off a Haribo pass.
However, the Old Boys came back and established a 4-1 lead.
At half time and drinks, the Old Boys were 6-5 up. The second half would become scrappy as both teams seeked the win. Particularly serious, was Barley Dave. Though several people on his side and the opposition tried to calm him down, he was red as a beetroot and off on a bender.
The game however continued and shut him up with 3 decisive goals from the freshers.
It all went down to the wire. A Race to 10, it was 9-9.
When one of the greatest goals of Newquay beach history happened. Deep inside the freshers half, Stu rolled out a ball to Tanner on the right wing, a number of passes found Haribo and Teddy up front. A superb vision by Haribo and Tanner found Pepper lurking on the left, who cut in and then fired the ball home for the win!
Freshers were jubilant, Old Boys couldn’t believe it.
Barley Dave just ran into the sea, we all followed to give our feet a bit of relief.
Later on in the evening, it was straight showered, dressed and into the Safi bar for pre-going out drinks. Round the world darts and 301 down commenced whilst keeping an eye on the football. Sweden vs. Paraguay.
So where would it be tonight?After the usual pints and fines at Berties, we were off skipping to a club called Beach. Apparently it was ladies night, ha!
Highlights of the evening were watching a guy getting knocked the fuck out whilst queuing up! Finding out that there were maybe 20 girls in the club, so after a quick shot and games of 21 we were off to Sailors again!
Fresher Dave had a fool around with a lady and Teddy followed. It was another good night, but after a large amount of alcohol at the England game, after the beach football and at the Safi bar a lot of us were so wasted and our livers could not continue…
It was home time at 2am. No beach fun afterwards.
Down in the bar at 3am was Coop, Bryan, Dibble, Barley later joined by Teddy with a lighter and some milk?
We stayed there until 4-5 ish just doing fuck all really! Dibble was resting his eyes a lot and Coop was getting whipped by teddy at round the world darts. Though tiredness I believe came into effect.
An early-ish wake up was needed to pack and get in the bus ready for the ride home. It was a chance to kinda relax after days on end of drinking, eating, cricketing and drinking! No one dared to kip before Coop left the bus at Taunton.
On this journey the fresher trophy was up for grabs. The “Alex Cooper Cup” to give it a name. The award went to Fresher Tanner for his contribution to the Tour. Haribo and Teddy narrowly missing out.
From Taunton to Pompey then, a long long drive… Our thanks go out to Marky Skeet, who at times made us sick, but also made us laugh. Quality chauffeur.
Our thank you’s go to:
Mikey – “what a tour mate, well done”
Coop + JP – “Cheers for coming down”
Hotel Safi – Crappy hotel, fit barmaid, put up with us at 3am
Barracuda – Best night out in Newquay.
Our fuck you’s go out to:
Holiday Inn – Fined, nuff said
The door on the minibus – Stuck on the first day!
The guys that beat up the Old Boys – just wait till Next time!!!!
Location: Outside Union For one week, 16 guys were about to abuse their livers...
It began...on the minibus! Marky Skeet was driving, good old boy. Rarely going above 67mph we were cruising westerly toward Taunton, Somerset.
That’s where there are loads of farmers.
So onward we went with a good 10 crates of Carlsberg and Export. Not to mention a few cans of Kopparberg that Genders had with me...
First toilet stop, and Mikey and Tommy 'I’m a gay American' Genders grabbed some Strawberries.
Strawberries to start...Mikey n Danny 'Out every night' Margerum. So after the short stop it was back on the highway. Few songs few more beers, happy days.
On way to Long Sutton to play Marky's little side, which beat us.
Aside from Danny and Brian playing on the swings and Teddy squirting everyone with piss in a water pistol, Fresher Dave saw a Blue Tit.
Productive.
Cricket wise, the scorching Somerset heat was great to play in, Danny (1st team skip) and Genders ended up on the opposite team. Traitors. The match was a friendly and it was obvious there was a bit of fun in the outfield.
Silence for Fresher Tanner to start which was all in good fun. So still a bit of a journey left then, arriving at Taunton early evening. Seeing the Sri Lankan cricket team at neighbouring hotel and then the England bus shows up. Not that great.
On arrival, rooms were designated and we were informed of a free breakfast, nice. I was sharing with Marky and Stu aka. Mr Talkative. We put the world cup on whilst we waited to shit, shower and shave ready for the night ahead.
Starting in the lobby watching the great Iran vs. Portugal, we were all up for the night. Taxi's came and ended up taking all old boys to Spoons. (Hearing lapse by me). Fines and MoM & DoD were given out. IT finished with Skeeter and tanner enjoying some muffin off th floor. Started wrestling too which puzzled us... Bouncer loved it.
The night was to be spent at some club in Taunton that JP 'Alumni' and James 'Injury time' Pepper knew about. All others behaved like sheep and followed... Teddy 'Fresher' Bear was the designated Whip Treasurer, so all the boys handed over a tenner. This would become the norm.
Should have run. Met a girl behind bar who we befriended and she decided to give us 2 shots each of this horrible strawberry liquor.
On top of that were 32 pints (2 each) and 2 bottles of vodka. The night was a good introductory gesture and we played a few drinking games whilst perving over JP's missus... (Haribo!)
Highlights were Coops attempt at a high pitched "AyAkah" and Brian and Skeeter not knowing they were blowing out all our eardrums.
After more games of Jimmy 'McMack' Mack and 21 we were beginning to feel woozy, Mikey could still sort of talk sense and ended up with this random blonde.
Can you say "Blowjob in the toilets?"
The hours rolled on and it was time to pile in a randoms car. Think Genders had flex'd and attractive some female species to take us home. Don’t remember much after that...All in good fun.
Known later in the morning was that Brian 'Go on my son' Hilton, Alex 'Coop' Cooper and Danny had spent the night shaving themselves and each other and Dibble had pulled a fat bird.
ermm…Good stuff.
The Monday started with what seemed like a harmless prank, Danny and Coop throwing water all over everyone at 6.30am. Rough.
We all went down for breakfast and went nuts on the free stuff. After Teddy attempted straight arm drinking a yoghurt Danny had a nice bit of banter with all our mums.
Read the papers and assembled our stuff for the bus ride ahead.
I don’t think anyone could have managed a few cans of Carlsberg as we were all recovering; we all wanted sleep but feared getting bitchslapped. So matchsticks in eyelids then...
Only an hour and half to Newquay so not a long ride. We were glad to unload our stuff after finding Hotel Safi! Bunkhouse it was, it was damaged, dirty and cheap...ideal then!
In the first room were Freshers Pepper and Teddy, Coop and Brian. Room 106 was Dibble, Danny, Mikey and Tanner. And lastly the third room consisted of Dave, Stu, Haribo, Skeet and Barley Dave. Sleep time! To prepare for the night, we asked the receptionist where is good to go, she replied "everywhere really, it depends what you want".
A great help. So off ski’s it was to Burger King and then later to Sailors which was as hot as a volcano... Marky loved the scratch perverts. They were very good.
A Few fresher challenges, lots of bevvies and drunkard dancing later, we settled on a kebab and a 15" party as after club food. So Down to beach to eat it all!
Freshers Haribo and Teddy had a sandcastle building comp which Teddy won easily with his giant penis castle with added moat. All Haribo could muster was a shitty sand woman complete with dodgy boob job and some sort of genitalia which wasn’t female nor male.
Ambled home to the Safi later for a few hours sleep...
Newquay
First stop, breaky at a café towards Walkabout end.
Freshers. No eating with cutlery. So Posh Nosh and Bacon Butty it was then!
Then the news…
Mikey gets a call from his housemate, we had three days to pay for three mattresses which had to be replaced after a little water fight featuring Big Fat Dan and Coop. £20 each was the charge.
Oh well, we were on tour, Fuck the holiday Inn! Spoiling our morning!
The day also brought us some cricket, a game against a St. Austell village side, highlights included Brian hitting 50 runs for the consecutive game and Danny helping him along the way. Stuart “Mr. Talkative” Reeves took some key wickets too.
A win was assured when Brian came on to bowl his ‘right arm shit’ and grabbed 2 quick wickets. Barley became involved for the first time on tour with his drunken umpiring…
I don’t remember what followed, do you guys?
A busy Wednesday began with Breakfast, at a crappy café once again!
Full English’s all round even the Freshers could use knives n forks. Afterwards a few guys went to Walkabout to discuss the holiday inn fees and have a few beers, Brian (still pissed from last night) spent a while in the toilets.
We came to the agreement that each person will contribute an equal percentage as everyone else.
The day was designated a beach day and thus followed…
It was all whites for the Freshers apart from Tanner and Pepper, who were stupid and wore swimming trunks! So Teddy, Haribo and Dave were the only ones in full whites ready to play cricket.
Late in the game with the tide rapidly coming in, we had attracted some bikini clad females to play. They were shit, though some had tits and ran. It was neat!
Females decided to abandon game after finding the game boring when out in the field. So they attempted to build a mermaid which ended up looking like a sperm whale with big eyes.
More beach fun followed when playing headers and volleys. Classic.
Of course no-one kept score, we just waited until someone would score then watch them dive into the Atlantic in celebration.
All this play ended in a lot of wet cricketers, so fresher challenge was to grab a towel. Teddy went far a field and ended up with one of the summer break reps’ towel, whereas Pepper achieved a borrow off a nearby minger. Dave and Haribo eventually came back with a towel each.
Towards the end of the day, Stuart ‘I sleep all day and eat a whole 15” pizza’ Reeves came down.
After the beach it was time, time for Barracuda!
Pre-Outing drinks at the Safi bar, was good.
Keeping in with the beach theme, it was beach party night. So what better to dress up as than women in pyjamas! Love it.
We stood out like an erection at poolside.
Fresher challenge of the evening was to introduce a girl to any Old Boy, preferably Coop n Dibble and tell them your pick name, age, university attending and any other information you have come across. We met quite a few people. Freshers Teddy, Pepper advanced at this task.
Coop n Dibble paid £5 for some ‘oxygen’ that did nothing, and many drinks were dropped on the floor.
Then Lexi appeared. Enough Said.
(What goes on tour, stays…?)
Breaky at Corkers, it was rolls all around…Great 12” subs will bacon, sausages, hash browns, and a good helping of melted cheese on top. Heart attacks on way.
Chilled until the England game.
The second England game happened to be showing at Barracuda where we were last night. Trinidad and Tobago were the opponents and 2-0 the final score.
A Good host of the match, freebies included a wristband, potato wedges, out of date san Miguel and flags. Teddy stole a big foam finger, but didn’t put it to good use as he missed both goals. Shocking.
Cricket vs. Truro Cricket College Academy, we didn’t play them on the same day, I just putting it in here cos I want to. If anyone can tell me the date it would be much obliged. We got whacked around to start with, then had a good spell, then whacked around some more. After a good 40 overs of this, Truro had posted 230 on the board.
Out came Danny and Mikey who put on a good opening stand, however the Truro bowlers got through us though Marky Skeet, Teddy and Dibble hit a few last gasp boundaries. Only a loss of 50 runs.
Freshers vs. Old Boys footy
The conditions, a bit breezy and sandy.
The tide out, the pitch drawn (incredibly well by all Freshers)
It was time for a heated game of football.
The teams were predictable, though the old boys having one more player fielded a sub for most part for the game. Goals were a plenty, with 19 being scored.
The Freshers took the favourable conditions by the scruff of the neck and scored early, Tanner knocking in a half volley off a Haribo pass.
However, the Old Boys came back and established a 4-1 lead.
At half time and drinks, the Old Boys were 6-5 up. The second half would become scrappy as both teams seeked the win. Particularly serious, was Barley Dave. Though several people on his side and the opposition tried to calm him down, he was red as a beetroot and off on a bender.
The game however continued and shut him up with 3 decisive goals from the freshers.
It all went down to the wire. A Race to 10, it was 9-9.
When one of the greatest goals of Newquay beach history happened. Deep inside the freshers half, Stu rolled out a ball to Tanner on the right wing, a number of passes found Haribo and Teddy up front. A superb vision by Haribo and Tanner found Pepper lurking on the left, who cut in and then fired the ball home for the win!
Freshers were jubilant, Old Boys couldn’t believe it.
Barley Dave just ran into the sea, we all followed to give our feet a bit of relief.
Later on in the evening, it was straight showered, dressed and into the Safi bar for pre-going out drinks. Round the world darts and 301 down commenced whilst keeping an eye on the football. Sweden vs. Paraguay.
So where would it be tonight?After the usual pints and fines at Berties, we were off skipping to a club called Beach. Apparently it was ladies night, ha!
Highlights of the evening were watching a guy getting knocked the fuck out whilst queuing up! Finding out that there were maybe 20 girls in the club, so after a quick shot and games of 21 we were off to Sailors again!
Fresher Dave had a fool around with a lady and Teddy followed. It was another good night, but after a large amount of alcohol at the England game, after the beach football and at the Safi bar a lot of us were so wasted and our livers could not continue…
It was home time at 2am. No beach fun afterwards.
Down in the bar at 3am was Coop, Bryan, Dibble, Barley later joined by Teddy with a lighter and some milk?
We stayed there until 4-5 ish just doing fuck all really! Dibble was resting his eyes a lot and Coop was getting whipped by teddy at round the world darts. Though tiredness I believe came into effect.
An early-ish wake up was needed to pack and get in the bus ready for the ride home. It was a chance to kinda relax after days on end of drinking, eating, cricketing and drinking! No one dared to kip before Coop left the bus at Taunton.
On this journey the fresher trophy was up for grabs. The “Alex Cooper Cup” to give it a name. The award went to Fresher Tanner for his contribution to the Tour. Haribo and Teddy narrowly missing out.
From Taunton to Pompey then, a long long drive… Our thanks go out to Marky Skeet, who at times made us sick, but also made us laugh. Quality chauffeur.
Our thank you’s go to:
Mikey – “what a tour mate, well done”
Coop + JP – “Cheers for coming down”
Hotel Safi – Crappy hotel, fit barmaid, put up with us at 3am
Barracuda – Best night out in Newquay.
Our fuck you’s go out to:
Holiday Inn – Fined, nuff said
The door on the minibus – Stuck on the first day!
The guys that beat up the Old Boys – just wait till Next time!!!!
posted by Teddy Bear at 7:52 PM
0 comments